‘When you have surgery at 3 and happy hour at 5’

Haute is taking an unhealthy turn.  

Not looking so hot is fashion’s hottest look thanks to “hospital gown” couture. 

“Some outfits just make me feel like I’m that b- -ch,” said Izzy, a content creator, while rocking emergency room-inspired wear from bohemian clothier, Free People. 

The loose-fitting finery, officially titled the “Organic Cotton Romper Chambray Combo,” features a printed fabrication, scoop neck and a keyhole cutout in its anterior — much like the dress doctors have patients slip into before sending them under the knife. 

Online, it retails on reseller sites like EBay and PoshMark at prices ranging from $68 to $79. 

“Free People has f- -ked up again,” added Izzy, modeling the sick swag for her over 4 million virtual viewers. “But in literally the most awesome way ever.”

Sadly, keyboard critics disagreed. 

“Not me [thinking], ‘Oh she got the outdoor privileges,’” joked a commenter, suggesting the blond looked like a mental asylum escapee. 

“When you have surgery at 3 & happy hour at 5,” another kidder chimed. 

“The open back too is diabolical,” a separate onlooker laughed. 

“PSYCH WARD DRIPPPPPP,” screeched another, adding: “WHERE [ARE] THE GRIPPY SOCKS.”

Harsh critiques from haters aside, avant-garde garb is catching on a like code red fire. 

Kooky clotheshorse Doja Cat, 30, turned heads while publicly sporting a stark white towel ensemble just ahead of the 2024 Met Gala. 

Manhattan designer Edna St. Louis, 26, too, poshly placed social media in an ultramodern chokehold after debuting her LED “Hala cart” top in May.  

Medical gear, however, seems to be setting off the most sirens in the fashion world as of late. But it’s leaving some consumers with crippling confusion. 

“Why would a store sell a hospital gown for $68 — and better yet, who would wear it?,” mommy influencer Nicole Story Dent, wondered out loud in a video post. “And the answer is me.”

The brunette, a mother of two from Dallas, Tex., gave more than 956,000 cyber spectators a peak at her a wearing med-esque number from Ann Taylor Loft. 

Dent cheekily paired the frock with a hospital bracelet, non-slip socks and a $297 pair of oversized white cotton bloomers from Revolve. The embroidered bottoms were reminiscent of the undies women wear after having a baby. 

“Are they micro-short bloomers that cost over $200,” she asked, “or are they a postpartum diaper?.”

“Is this new generation being told they need to go straight from Labor & Delivery to the club?,” added Dent. “From popping out babies to popping bottles?.”

“I’m concerned.