My leg hurt so bad I had it cut off: What is ‘suicide disease’?
Tayla Page begged doctors to amputate her leg after it turned purple and became so excruciatingly painful that she couldn’t even put on socks.
“I was constantly crying and in excruciating pain all the time,” Page, 23, said of her debilitating mystery condition. “I couldn’t get comfortable because anything and everything was just too painful for me. I didn’t have a life.”
Page first experienced the agony after having her appendix removed when she was a teenager.
“It was the most excruciating pain anyone could go through, it was just like a constant, burning and stabbing pain that never goes away,” the soccer coach told Jam Press.
The UK woman was eventually diagnosed in 2016 with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), “a form of chronic pain that usually affects an arm or a leg,” per the Mayo Clinic.
CRPS is often referred to as the “suicide disease” due to the mental anguish and feelings of hopelessness experienced by the sufferer.
This agonizing affliction typically develops after an injury, a surgery, a stroke or a heart attack, although the pain is disproportionate to severity of the initial injury, according to medical experts.
Symptoms include continuous throbbing pain or burning pain, sensitivity to touch or temperature change, muscle spasms and tremors and decreased mobility in the affected limb.
Needless to say, the condition made Page’s life a living hell, rendering the sporty young woman unable to do the most basic activities, including walking and other day-to-day tasks.
“It got to the point where my leg was sensitive to anything as it is all to do with your nerve endings,” the Brit lamented. “The touch of things such as wind, bed sheets and even water would leave me in constant agony 24/7.”
Page added, “I only went to school for half of the days because I couldn’t put up with the pain of sitting on chairs and being on crutches.”
Not only that, but her leg turned purple and black with no pulse.
Page’s condition got so bad that she became “bedbound” and her mom had to step in as her full-time caretaker as she couldn’t shower or dress herself.
Unfortunately, having her guardian at her side didn’t improve things much.
“I cried every day when putting my socks on – I would shout at my mum because it hurt so much,” Page said. “My mom and my dad are my biggest rocks, it was obviously as tough on them as much as it was for me.”
Hoping to alleviate her constant agony, the beleaguered brit went to the hospital, only for doctors to tell her it was all in her head despite the leg’s discoloration and complete lack of circulation.
“It doesn’t take a genius to know my leg was dead,” declared Page who said she eventually became “suicidal” because no one wanted to help her.
The pained patient lamented, “For me, it was like carrying around a dead weight and no one was listening to me.”
Despite her condition, Page said she didn’t want to call it quits as she wanted to “wanted to live and have kids.”
So the determined soccer fan made the difficult decision to part with the affected limb. “I made the decision myself and found a professor from Hull who finally agreed to amputate my leg,” said Page, who went under the knife in 2019.
Her life was transformed overnight. “The first thing I said when I woke up was ‘is it gone?’” exclaimed the grateful gal. “The moment I woke up, it just felt amazing straight away.”
She added, “I didn’t have any pain, it was all gone – and I knew from that moment on my life was going to be so much better, even if I was in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.”
That never came to pass as she was outfitted with her prosthetic leg, which allowed the patient to walk again, as seen in photos posted on her Instagram page.
“My look on life had completely changed and I knew I was now able to do whatever I wanted,” gushed the jubilant athlete.
Indeed, along with walking, Page was able to run again and play football for the first time in over a decade thanks to a running blade she was gifted from The Richard Whitehead Foundation and Ossur. She also landed a dream gig as the coach at Wolverhampton Wanderers F.C. soccer club.
“I am doing amazing now, I couldn’t be happier,” Page said. “I work at my dream job, I am a football coach and I absolutely love that.”
The amputee reportedly coaches the disabled teams to show that “anything is possible,” explaining: “Just because we have a disability, why can’t we play sports like everyone else.
Page acknowledges that “without the amputation, I know I wouldn’t be here today.”
“It was that painful, I couldn’t live anymore, I needed that yes from the doctor and thank god he did say yes,” she said. “I am able to do anything I want and I have never been more confident.
Page hopes her story will inspire others to not give up on their dreams to due to their condition.
“I have met fellow amputees who are my age and I’m also a mentor, offering support and help to other young people who have recently undergone amputations,” she said.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or are experiencing a mental health crisis and live in New York City, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential crisis counseling. If you live outside the five boroughs, you can dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 988 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.