Miami’s top hotels cost a fortune during the Miami Grand Prix

The “2 Fast 2 Furious” city is finally hosting a Formula 1 race.

While some Miami residents are less than enthusiastic about the three days of events surrounding the Miami Grand Prix — claiming the sound of cars cruising around a track at 225 miles per hour constitutes “intolerable noise pollution” — hotels are ecstatic.

The first-ever Formula 1, Crypto.com-sponsored race in South Florida means more heads in more beds.

In fact, event organizers expect the weekend of May 6 to 8 to spur an additional 35,000 hotel bookings.

But does hosting a Formula 1 race give hotels a license to bill? Apparently it does.

Starting with a suite that costs almost as much as a Ferrari, here are seven of the most expensive abodes you can book during the race week.

Faena Suite, Faena Hotel Miami Beach

Forget your definition of suite that simply means adjoining rooms so Mom and Dad can procreate in peace. This posh 4,515-square-foot pad in the 5-star Faena Hotel Miami Beach features four bedrooms, six bathrooms and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the water. If the $120,000 per night price tag seems a bit steep, just remember it comes with butler service.

Guests who book the Faena Suite between May 5 to 9 will also have access to the official Red Bull Hospitality Suite (it has the best track views at Miami International Autodrome). 

Lanai Oceanfront King Suite, the Ritz-Carlton South Beach

While there’s no bad room at the Ritz-Carlton South Beach, there is a best room and it’s the 1,100-square-foot Lanai Oceanfront King Suite.

Since it’s a corner unit, guests can enjoy both Atlantic and South Beach views from their wraparound balcony. Inside, there’s a king bedroom, an attached marble bathroom, a half-bath for guests, a living room and a dining room complete with seating for six.

But before you get carried away and open any bottles of water, you may want to check with the front desk. According to the suite’s description on Marriott.com, staying hydrated isn’t included in the $8,749 nightly rate. 

Palace Suite, the St. Regis Bal Harbour Resort

Juliet would have a field day if she were to stay in the Palace Suite at the St. Regis Bal Harbour Resort. This 2,950-square-foot abode boasts an impressive four balconies to choose from. There’s even one with a dining table that seats 10.

Located on the 23rd floor, the four-bedroom, four-bathroom suite offers “seductive” ocean views, and plenty of opportunities to overcome acrophobia. There’s a well-stocked kitchenette, a living room with marble floors and even a secondary sitting area complete with a massage chair and sofa bed. It’s asking $23,000 a night during the Grand Prix, but get ready to pony up nearly $100,000, because there’s a four-night minimum stay.

Amplified Penthouse Suite, W South Beach

For the chance to rub elbows with real Formula 1 drivers (because we all know Uber drivers who identify as them), book this oceanfront suite at W South Beach. Britain’s Williams Racing team will be staying at the property, which recently underwent a $30 million renovation.

The 2,354-square-foot two-bedroom, 2½-bathroom Amplified Penthouse Suite includes a fully equipped kitchen, indoor and outdoor living areas and a private rooftop pool.

If three king beds aren’t enough, add a rollaway cot for just $75 per night. That’s right, you may be paying $30,000 per night, but you’ll still be nickeled and dimed.

According to the hotel’s description of the suite, high-speed internet is available — for a fee. The room does, however, come with a free Williams F1 team racing hat, so there’s that. 

Premier Bay View Suite, Mandarin Oriental, Miami

Although it has one of the more affordable rooms on this list, Mandarin Oriental, Miami may stand to make the most money.

Its Premier Bay View Suites occupy the corner units on floors six through 16. The 1,054-square-foot suites all feature a king bedroom, a living room, a wraparound balcony and a walk-in closet almost big enough to fit a small SUV. The suite’s master bathroom comes complete with dual pedestal basins, a rainforest shower and a freestanding tub for soaking away any worries that a fat wad of Ben Franklins can’t fix.

Since you’re paying $8,500 per night, there’s no judgment if you take advantage of the in-room Illy coffee machine and pocket a few capsules. 

Presidential Suite, InterContinental Miami

When the InterContinental Miami was flipping through its rolodex to find help creating a vision for its Presidential Suites, it stopped at the name Venus Williams. That’s right: The celebrated tennis star helped design these two, two-story, one-bedroom suites. Each suite is 3,300 square feet and features a king bedroom, a luxury bathroom (think granite vanity), a kitchenette, a private dining area and a multimedia room.

The nightly rate, $6,050, includes access to Club InterContinental Lounge and its complimentary breakfast, afternoon tea and happy hour. Time it right and you’ll never have to pay for a meal. 

Penthouse Suite, Kimpton EPIC Hotel

It’s hard to top the vibe or the views from this penthouse suite situated on the 30th floor of one of downtown Miami’s most iconic skyscrapers.

The Kimpton EPIC Hotel Penthouse Suite, which starts at $5,000 per night, is 1,100 square feet of urban elegance meets “modern beach palette.” It includes a king bedroom, 1½ bathrooms, a parlor, a dining area and two balconies. There’s also an attached guestroom with a private entrance that the hotel’s description calls the nanny quarters.

Surely if you can afford $20,000 — there’s a four-night minimum stay — you can afford to bring the kids. That said, you can also probably afford boarding school.