Man passes out with 9 rings ‘strangling’ penis, scrotum: surgeons

What a ring-a-ling.

An Australian man had to be hospitalized after passing out with nine metal bands constricting his scrotum following a botched attempt to improve his performance in the boudoir.

Doctors detailed the case study’s “rare case of penile strangulation” — complete with his rescue by firefighters — in the medical journal Urology Case Reports.

The 44-year-old patient was rushed to the emergency room with “nine heavy duty industrial stainless-steel rings stuck around the base of the penis and scrotum” for a whopping 12 hours, according to the study authors.

The unfortunately soul, who was reportedly intoxicated at the time, had reportedly utilized his bizarre bedding bands in a half-baked attempt to maintain an erection during sexual intercourse.

He reportedly passed out following the hanky-panky session, after which he awoke three hours later in “significant pain.”

Following his failed game of ring toss, the sexperimenter reported the hospital in distress and agony.

A subsequent examination revealed that his groin was swollen, tender and bruised, whereupon doctors administered the patient intravenous anesthetics to alleviate his pain from his slinky-esque affliction.

Surgeons then attempted to removed the industrial-strength rings — which measured just 0.4 inches in diameter — using bolt cutters but to no avail.

Left with little other recourse, they enlisted the aid of the local fire-department, who arrived shortly thereafter and cut the rings off with an industrial-grade circular saw while he was under general anesthesia.

Due to the inherent risk of performing such a delicate surgery with power tools, surgeons placed a tongue depressor between the penis and the saw to prevent any mishaps.

Meanwhile, sterilizing the penis with saline solution helped mitigate the risk of a saw-induced thermal injury.

While the surgery was a success, the patient didn’t entirely emerge from the ordeal unscathed.

A cystoscopy — a procedure to look inside the bladder using a thin camera — found that the patient’s urethra was irritated and swollen, which required doctors to fit it with a catheter for one week.

Meanwhile, the patient — somewhat ironically — experienced minor erectile dysfunction following the saga.

This is far from the first time someone has suffered from agonizing scrotal constriction.

Last year, another Australian man nearly lost part of his penis after errant public hair ensnared the tip and cut off its circulation like a grotesque garrote.