Laughing gas binges left me paralyzed and dependent on my devoted dad

Health is no laughing matter.

A UK woman has revealed she was left paralyzed after misusing laughing gas, also known as nitrous oxide.

Kerry Donaldson began inhaling her “hippie crack” through balloons with her friends back in 2017, only for it to damage her spinal cord and force her to receive 24-hour care from her father.

“I was doing it on and off, usually at the weekends. It was the social thing — everybody was doing it,” she told Kennedy News. “I didn’t really understand the damage that it could cause. I just thought it was a bit of fun, I didn’t think it would harm me. I was uneducated on the subject.”

Eventually, her binges lasted up to three days, resulting in intense vomiting.

“I’d wake up and do it all over again; it’d be like a cycle,” the former receptionist said.

She landed in the hospital multiple times due to numbness in her legs and hands, ultimately leaving her no choice but to quit inhaling from balloons in 2020.

After Donaldson’s first hospital visits, she said she was honest about her nitrous oxide use, and the doctors gave her B12 injections since her vitamin B levels were low. Despite being forced to walk with a crutch, she “didn’t care” that the gas was damaging her.

According to Australia’s Alcohol and Drug Foundation, nitrous oxide use results in a “euphoric” feeling and, short term, can cause lightheadedness, blurred vision and confusion, along with a laundry list of other side effects — as well as sudden death.

As for long-term effects, they range from memory loss and buzzing in the ears to numbness in the hands and feet, limb spasms, nerve damage, psychosis and more.

This year, another hospitalization revealed that Donaldson’s former habit had led to a bulging disk in her lower back, making her unable to walk.

“I never thought it’d get to a point where I’d be unable to walk and I’d need to use a wheelchair,” she admitted. “I had been feeling pain in my lower back. I knew it was because of the balloons, but I was just ignoring it.”

When she went into the hospital the last time, she couldn’t walk. MRI scans showed Donaldson had nerve damage and a lower-back disk bulge, which was “obviously caused by the balloons,” she said.

“I’d left it for so long and hadn’t gotten it treated so the damage had gotten worse,” added Donaldson, who is from Newham, Greater London. Since leaving the hospital in March, she’s been unable to walk and was prescribed medications.

The 25-year-old is now entirely dependent on her family for care, she said, and is forced to use a wheelchair to get around. Six months after her diagnosis, she’s using her heartbreaking story to raise awareness for others who may not know about the dangers of nitrous oxide. Videos online show Donaldson’s brothers supporting her when she’s unable to raise her feet as just one example of how she requires constant care.

“I’m hoping it will get better in time. Nobody can really tell — it’s not like a test can be done and tell me if I’ll get better,” she said. “I take every day as it comes and hope for the best. I’m taking my medication and doing as much [physical therapy] as I can.”

The once-independent young woman now heavily relies on her father to care for her all day, every day, including with bathing and eating.

“Before, I could go out whenever I liked and easily go in the shower,” she said. “Now my dad has to take me to the shower, and the bath has been altered to make it easier for me to get in and out.

“All my meals are prepared for me by my dad. He’s my carer. I’m so appreciative of him; he’s changed what he does with his life to cater for me,” she added.

She hopes her pain might be able to inspire others online to stop consuming nitrous oxide like she was.

“When I was told I wouldn’t be able to walk, it was a little bit depressing at the start,” she said. “But as time has gone on, I’ve been sharing my story online and I’ve been getting messages from people who want advice and have stopped doing balloons.”

She’s trying to turn her situation into something positive, she said, hoping to help anyone who’s struggling and to educate the public on the dangerous gas.

“If I can help someone and prevent them going through what I’m going through, then I’m happy with that at the end of the day,” Donaldson said. “I’m trying to make the best of the situation. Of course I regret using nitrous oxide; I wish I was more educated.”

“I wish I knew then what I know now, as that would have probably prevented me from using it,” she admitted.

But she can’t dwell on the past, she said, and instead wants to focus on a future that includes “helping others,” she told Kennedy News.

“My situation could help someone not to go through this,” she said. “So I don’t look back and think about it too much, as it won’t make me feel any better. It’s all about helping others now.”

She wants to eventually talk at schools and colleges to warn young adults about the dangers of nitrous oxide use, saying she doesn’t “think a lot of people know about the potential side effects.”

“A lot of people think it’s just a bit of fun and it can’t do any harm to your body,” she said. “I’m constantly in pain, but I’ve gotten used to the pain. I don’t even remember how it feels not to have pain.”

While she was reluctant at first to be so open about her experience, she’s hoping her suffering can be for the greater good.

“In life, no matter what you do, people will say things about it. If I speak out and people have something bad to say, I won’t entertain it,” she said. “I know there’ll be a lot of good to come out from speaking out, and that’s what is important to me.”