Blackstone roasted for ‘cringey’ Taylor Swift-inspired holiday video

Blackstone CEO Steve Schwarzman is being roasted for a “cringey” Taylor Swift-inspired holiday video by the world’s largest asset manager to lure new clients.

In the nearly six-minute mockumentary-style video, which hit YouTube on Thursday, Schwarzman dons a shimmering fringe jacket — much like the one the pop star wears during “The Eras Tour” — as he and Blackstone’s chief operating officer Jon Gray embark on “The Alternatives Era” tour.

Gray boasts that after attending Swift’s blockbuster concert, he believes taking Blackstone on a jaunt around the country could help the firm raise $1 billion “like Taylor.”

He goes on to point out that Blackstone already has $1 trillion under management.

The first four minutes document the Blackstone team’s planning process, which includes securing venues — like Legoland and Great Wolf Lodge, theme parks Blackstone has a stake in — as well as printing custom merchandise and finalizing the set list, which includes 10 minutes of disclaimer slides Schwarzman said “looks amazing on the jumbotron.”

The video caps off with a two-minute music video where Blackstone’s primarily middle-aged staffers sing about “the alternatives era” of investing in life sciences and artificial intelligence while dancing in fringed jackets, metallic shirts and funky sunglasses.

During the song, Schwarzman takes center stage in a multicolored tinsel jacket eerily similar to the one Swift shakes it off in for the finale song of her 44-track show and warns viewers that Blackstone is “not to be confused with BlackRock.”

The playful video garnered mixed reviews on social media, where some users appeared horrified to find out that it wasn’t a parody, but rather a large-scale effort by Blackstone’s deep-pocketed workforce.

“That was the cringiest s–t I have seen in a long long time dear god,” one user shared to X.

Another user argued that Blackstone “does a holiday video every year,” contending that this year’s edition “honestly adds a nice human element to the big banks/asset managers.”

Blackstone’s 2022 holiday video, its fifth annual, saw the firm’s traditionally-buttoned up bankers trying their hand at TikTok to promote the firm’s focus on content creation.

A spokesperson for Blackstone told The Post: “Our annual holiday video tradition started in 2018 as a fun way for our employees to laugh at themselves with their tongues planted firmly in cheek. It’s nice that a number of people have commented positively on the song and our dance moves. But as Taylor Swift said if some people ‘gotta be so mean’ then we’ll ‘shake it off.’”

On YouTube, where the video has raked in over 118,000 views in the one day since it’s been posted, Blackstone has disabled comments.

However, perhaps it was the cultural relevance of incorporating nods to Swift — named Time’s “Person of the Year” for 2023 after her “Eras Tour” raked in $1 billion — social media users offered mixed reviews.

“Occupy Wall St. 2023. This is criminal,” yet another wrote, while another viewer chimed in: “I have to go wash my eyes.”

Other users said Blackstone’s video failed at winning new clients. “Whoever approved this, I don’t trust their decision making esp when it comes to investing,” tweeted Joe Cassandra, the founder of finance-focused marketing agency Suite Financial.

Another even said the video made them “want a very hard landing.”

An additional user pointed out that there “appears to be a large proportion of old white men” in the video. “Someone should audit their DEI department.”

One user who came to Blackstone’s defense argued that the video “is cinematography gold.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!!!” said X user Nicole Correale, who identifies herself on the site as a producer for Fidelity.

Another X user jokingly edited a Spotify Wrapped list — which Spotify releases at the end of every year ranking customers’ top listening moments — with “Blackstone” and “Alternatives Era” nabbing No. 1 for top artist and top song, respectively.

In a playful nod to another investment banker’s foray into music, the Wrapped list had DJ D-Sol as the second-most listened to artist.

By day DJ D-Sol is Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon, whose controversially spun tracks on dance club stages as his investment bank has struggled with multimillion-dollar losses.