Are you emotionally immature? 5 signs you may need a therapist

TikTok viewers aren’t staying silent about this.

A therapist has sparked debate on social media after saying there are five signs someone is emotionally immature — and employing “the silent treatment” is one of them.

Licensed therapist Jeffrey Meltzer, who hails from Sarasota, Florida, shared his list in a TikTok video posted late last month, which garnered over 9.5 million views and plenty of controversy.

The mental health professional’s proclamations peeved viewers who insisted that the silent treatment was often necessary to get a point across.

“Silent treatment is better than wasting your energy on someone who won’t listen to you,” one replied to Meltzer.

“I use the silent treatment because the alternative is worse,” another claimed.

Below, Metlzer’s five signs of emotional immaturity — and why the silent treatment is on his list.


Jeffrey Meltzer, who hails from Sarasota, Florida, shared his list in a TikTok video posted late last month, which garnered over 9.5 million views and plenty of controversy.
Jeffrey Meltzer, who hails from Sarasota, Florida, shared his list in a TikTok video posted late last month, which garnered over 9.5 million views and plenty of controversy.

1. You refuse to apologize

“Someone who’s emotionally immature avoids apologizing because typically, apologizing hurts their ego,” Meltzer explained.

Rather than take responsibility for their behavior, the immature person will use “defense mechanisms,” and “deflect blame.”

2. You have an answer for everything

“Again, this is an ego problem,” Meltzer declared in his clip, claiming an emotionally immature person would never admit to being unsure about anything as it’s ruinous to their self-esteem.

Conversely, the therapist claimed that a confident, mature person will have no problems saying “I don’t know about this” or “I need to do more research.”

3. You’re passive aggressive

According to Meltzer, passive aggression is “a subtle way to put people down, and it usually stems from a place of moral superiority.”

To be an emotionally mature person, the professional says that “it’s important to learn to accept other people’s worldviews even if they differ completely from yours.”


To be an emotionally mature person, the professional says that "it's important to learn to accept other people's worldviews even if they differ completely from yours."
To be an emotionally mature person, the professional says that “it’s important to learn to accept other people’s worldviews even if they differ completely from yours.” Photographee.eu – stock.adobe.com

4. You’re guilty of guilt-tripping

Meltzer says guilt-tripping is an emotionally immature behavior designed to “manipulate” others.

If you say things like “If you’re a true friend, you’d do this for me” or “If you loved me you would let me do this,” then you may has some growing up to do, according to Meltzer.

5. You use the silent treatment

Meltzer’s most controversial sign was listed last, with the therapist saying it was another
“manipulative” behavior.

“[It’s designed to] punish someone who’s not behaving the way they want them to,” he declared. “The silent treatment is incredibly immature and it hurts the other person’s mental health.”

While many hit out at Meltzer’s claim, others agreed with the professional.

“Comments are confused,” one defender wrote. “‘Silent treatment’ isn’t just not engaging/walking away from an argument, it is when you continue to not talk to them after.”