Libido-boosting sea ‘turd’ could hold help to fight cancer

Scientists in the Philippines may have found a powerful weapon in the ongoing battle against cancer — an alleged virility-enhancing sea cucumber that happens to be a dead ringer for dog poop.

They outlined the marine doo-ppelgänger’s apparent anti-cancer properties, among other unique attributes, in a recent study published in the journal “Plos One.”

“What we found is that S. horrens contains a lot of bioactive compounds,” which could be effective as cancer-fighters, author Eizadora Yu, who conducted the study with researchers at the Marine Science Institute, a branch of the University of the Philippines, told Gizmodo in an email.

They found that some of the chemicals could potentially harbor special anti-cancer agents called terpenoid glycosides and saponins. The latter, which is also found in the cells of legumes, is thought to “suppress tumor-promoting inflammation” by inhibiting the signaling pathways that cause it.

Dubbed stichopus cf. horrens, the gelatinous invertebrate resides in the warm waters in Southeast Asia and is recognizable by its spiky exterior, which has earned it the nickname “durian sea cucumber” after the spiny, pungent fruit. However, it also bears a striking resemblance to a lumpy dog turd.

The species is also known for discarding its knobby exterior in response to threats.

A commercially important species, S. Horrens is often dried and sold throughout China and Southeast Asia, where it’s perhaps dubiously prized as an aphrodisiac.

Researchers analyzed the sea cuc’s metabolome — the small molecule metabolites present within an organism — to identify “many compounds found in the body wall and viscera,” Yu said.

Along with mitigating cancer symptoms, the alleged marine panacea also harbors chemicals that are said to promote the growth of neurites, or the neural processes that facilitate communication between brain cells.

Researchers also found an abundance of phosphatidylcholine, a chemical whose anti-inflammatory properties could benefit people with ulcerative colitis.

Don’t start hoarding these spiky sea denizens just yet, though, as its purported cancer-combatting chemicals haven’t yet been proven to be effective, or even safe, for use by humans.

Yu and her colleagues are currently working to synthesize these chemicals for human consumption, as well as genetically engineer the critters to ensure they have an ample supply.

“We are currently studying how traditional processing methods (drying, boiling, etc) will affect the metabolome of S. horrens,” she explained.

Interestingly, this isn’t the sea cucumber’s first time at the rodeo as a supposed marine remedy.

Traditional Chinese medicine enthusiasts have treasured the trepang as an aphrodisiac, a belief likely fueled by its phallic shape and habit of discharging its innards when threatened.

Its alleged love potion status has yet to be verified scientifically, although some studies have suggested that eating this sea-alis could “improve testosterone level and sperm quality and quantity.”

Don’t be put off by sea cucumber’s NSFW appearance, by the way.

As someone who’s eaten this alleged marine manhood enhancer many times, I can attest that it lacks a strong flavor — the critter takes on the taste of the sauce in which it is slow-cooked or braised, like an epicurean shapeshifter.

Most unique is its paradoxically gelatinous and crunchy mouthfeel, which evokes the love child of a cucumber and Jello.