I told noisy tot’s mom to ‘keep it down’ on train quiet car — she didn’t care
A woman told a mom to keep her kids quiet on a train — and she was met with a round of applause.
In a discussion post on the popular mommy blog Mumsnet, user Wiennetta explained how she purposefully booked a seat on the quiet car since she had to work for the four-hour train ride, and most people there were also working, reading or sleeping as well.
However, on the other side of the aisle, Wiennetta witnessed a mom of a 2-year-old who was watching something on his iPad at full volume.
The child was also reportedly running up and down the aisle with another child, screaming and shouting and making a lot of noise, according to the writer, who posted in the “Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU)” thread.
“I was trying to concentrate on something, listening on my headphones and politely asked the mum if they could keep it down,” the user recalled. “At this point the kid was literally next to my seat, in the aisle, jumping up and down and shouting. She just said, ‘He’s two, what do you expect me to do?’”
She continued, “I mean they’re kids, they’re little, they’re bored. But AIBU I thinking the parents should at least try and moderate their behavior, remind them to be quiet, try and get them to sit down and do something a bit calmer? Even if it’s not always successful?
“Or preferably not book the bloody quiet carriage.”
A majority of commenters agreed that the mom should have at least tried to keep the children quiet.
“I’d speak to the ticket person/guard/conductor/whatever they’re called. She’s obviously pretty ignorant,” one person wrote.
“I mean he’s going to make a bit of noise at 2, but shouting and screaming, iPad in full volume is unnecessary and she should be doing something about it,” another chimed in.
“Have a word with her and don’t back down. She’s clearly one of these people that thinks she can get away with anything because she had a kid with her. Don’t let her ruin your day because she’s a bad mother,” someone replied.
“There’s a special place in hell for people who watch their phones/have conversations on speakerphone/let kids watch or play iPads at full volume in public spaces,” another said.
Elizabeth Wyse, editorial director of Debretts etiquette coaching company, told Newsweek that it’s perfectly reasonable to politely mention the noise level to parents in appropriate settings, such as a quiet train car, museum or public meeting.
Otherwise, people should try to show some patience toward parents of young children.
“You are certainly well within your rights to ask parents to keep their children quiet if you are in a quiet carriage on a train — they are violating the rules of the carriage and disrupting all the passengers who have opted for a noise-free environment, which is unacceptable,” Wyse said.
“Shooting them poisonous looks or tut-tutting when their children start to get noisy may well exacerbate the situation. We all know that noisy children can be hard to calm down, and the expectation is that the parents will do the best they can and, if things get out of hand, will take their children outside if possible,” she added.
However, Wyse said that compassion must go both ways.
“Good manners are all about observing how your — and your children’s — behavior affects the people around you,” she said. “Parents must exercise a certain amount of empathy and imagination to assess just how disturbing their children’s behavior is.”